When The Body Has Its Reasons

Hello, it's me.  I feel like another lifetime has come upon me in a way.  Last month I felt a strange  tiredness for no reason and had no symptoms.  Then I went on vacation for Spring Break and caught a virus that has taken me weeks to feel back to normal, my normal, that is, working full time and taking 5 ballet classes a week.  "Setbacks are opportunities to learn" I wrote in my journal.  So what's new?

I have had time to reflect and realized while sick I wondered if my body would want to be pushed again ever?  Since I am my own art and science project putting together a program that works for me is forever trial and error.  I use food as medicine and attempt some form of exercise each day and it is not easy.  So what am I trying to prove?  I don't have anything.  And I have no reason to do what I am doing.  I just put one foot in front of the other and find consistency is a needed friend when it comes to dance.  Working toward a "body/mind/spirit" excellence as we age I find is more and more of a mystery than one to be solved.  "Excellence is an art won by training and habit" I wrote in my journal.

The sacrifice is enormous when pursuing excellence.  I could not be the Kobe who admits his mission to win championships takes a great toll.  Siting in ice baths after each game instead of going home to his family plus getting to the gym 4 hours early just to prepare mentally and physically for the game. At age 34 and 17 years of professional basketball and seriously changing his eating habits is not enough to keep up the intensity much longer he admits.   But he is a work of ART to watch perform.

 When I look out my window I see inspiration surrounding me.  A row of bright pink cherry blossom trees line my sidewalk to remind me that change is always in process.  There is a "running man" that I see in my neighborhood that runs rain, shine, hail, or scorching sun in soft sandals, shorts, tee, and head scarf.  He looks like he is training for those long distance runs that take place in the dessert where the temps drop to below zero at night and up over the hundreds in the sun.  WHO does that?  I would love to hear his story.  But how do you stop a running man to ask him why he runs all the time?

"Practice means to perform, in the face of all obstacles some act of vision, of faith, of desire.  Practice is a means of inviting the perfection desired" quoted Martha Graham.  I have had enough counseling and psyche classes to know striving for "perfection" is not healthy.  There is something deeper going on.   I have no name for my "program" yet and being my own project I bounce back and forth from dire seriousness for about 5 minutes... to excuses... to much doubt... and questions questions always questions.????   I do not even have a specific goal I can name other than to "get stronger" in order to have more fun dancing.  I have no idea at this time what it is going to take but I do have my foods that I am experimenting with for energy.   Do you have something you practice?  Do you feel driven in any way?  Is there a running man in you?  Does your body have its reasons?