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Friday, December 9, 2011

Barack Obama Being Judged

How can anyone even think about anyone on the planet being a better President?   I always thought Steve Croft was a pretty decent interviewer until hearing him question Obama.  Steve is hammering on about the stupid poll numbers.  So what?  Why is he trying to be a Fox news reporter type and be sensational in his line of questioning?    Example "the general perception is........".  STOP!!!  That is like me saying, "Everyone knows 60 Minutes is a low life news show in step with Fox. 

Obama is the first President that I have had any feelings for whatsoever.  Also I know

I am the odd one out when it comes to the people I admire.  I loved Michael Jackson and knew he was a genius ALWAYS......all during his trials and tribulations.  I like Kobe Bryant and Ron Artest when others cannot tolerate the sound of their names. 

Is Obama a radical socialist or not tough enough?  That is the stupidity of the questioning going on tonight  on TV and the President has to lower himself to the common denominator of 3rd grade mentality and address this petty and trivial interview.  I am not one who thought Obama was going to be our great hope of making this country operate in a way that would be helpful for me.  I did know that he has the kind of values and compassion for humanity that I can relate to and no one even comes close to being worthy of walking in his shoes.

Now one more opinion not from Oprah or Dr. Phil but does anyone else think that way too many people are wearing dark glasses as a fashion statement?  Do people really like to see a face with the eyes blacked out?  



Fast, Fun, Easy, Simple

That's what people want. Fast, fun, easy, simple.  Calling Oprah, Dr. Phil, Suze Orman, and all the promise of results shows.  Immediate, or within 5 days.

Last night I was watching a show on OPB and the moderator was a Dr. who had a full audience.  He was delivering information in a dark blue suit and red tie that everyone should have already known if they were past the grade of 3.  Dang.  Why does everything have to be lowered to the last common denominator??  "Exercise grows our brain".  Oh WOW!!  Oh and wait for it....."the more exercise you do the better."  4 days a week sweat with aerobics of some kind and 2 days do strength training.  Remember you heard it here.....well unless you were watching this Dr. on OPB the other night selling books.

Is that what people consider CONTENT??  Valuable information?  Do you know Steve Martin the comedian knows a lot about art.  So he gave a talk at a museum in N.Y. and the participants demanded their money back.  They said the talk was too boring.  I understand he gave an intellectual talk about art when the audience was probably expecting an Oprah style presentation where give it to me fast, fun, easy and simple to understand or go home.

Thursday, December 8, 2011

Why Does Learning Take So Long?

A day in the style today was black Danskin sneakers, black knit tights, black Guess skinny jeans, white Old Navy thermal, and a Black Puffy jacket with a hood that has faux fur trim from Ross.  My intention was to LEARN how to use my camera and compose a picture for this blog.  I managed to do everything but address that camera.

Why is it when wanting to learn something new I procrastinate so much?  What is it fear?  Fear of the unknown and fear of failure and fear of the pictures not turning out and fear of not having enough patience to see it through and fear I will throw up my hands and say, "done" like I have with what feels like a million other projects?  I know what it is.  I already want to know how to do it.  I do not want to have to go through all the baby steps to learn and the falling down and needing to get back up again feels exhausting before I even begin.  And I LOVE TO DANCE.  Why should I have this much of a struggle?

Because it is something new I am excited about it and then lose my way.  Like in a relationship.  When you meet someone new and can't wait to go out and then right before the date it feels like all wrong.  That you know he is not going to be as much fun as you want him to be etc etc etc.

Staring out my window at 5pm the moon is out and today I had a long walk along the river in the outfit of choice today fit my intention ....(photographers wear black)....I wonder if I could meet a guy who knows how to use a camera and a tripod and we could go on a date and have a super fun time....but waiting for that to happen would take forever!!!

Wednesday, December 7, 2011

Toddlers and Tiaras

My boys are 15 months apart.  Everyone said it was too bad I did not have a girl because I loved to dress up.  Well, I dressed my boys  up.  I mean they were styled out in clothes that I made for them like a red and white hounds tooth jacket with matching shorts worn with a white turtle neck sweater and oxfords.  Another favorite being a white dress shirt,  plaid jacket with yellow bow tie and navy pants with blue swede clogs.  You get the picture.

When my daughter was born 6 years later she idolized her brothers.  She refused to wear a dress of any kind.  We have pictures of her with huge tears streaming down her face in every picture with a dress on that I had made of course.  I can see it now.  A white lace short sleeve top with a blue plaid skirt to the floor with white anklets and lace with white patent Mary Janes and her hair up like Little Miss Sunshine.  She was not about to be bribed.

When my youngest son came across the TV show Toddlers and Tiaras he freaked.  He said luckily he was born in the Northwest where pageants are not big.  I had never heard of them before I saw them a few years ago on TV myself.  I burst out laughing and yet it scared me because I think it may have been true.  Would I have done that to my little ones?  Please tell me NO!!!!!

Tuesday, December 6, 2011

Useful Information

Where is my voice going?  My least favorite blogs are the professional ones that give so called "useful information".  I only go to those blogs when I am seeking out a certain activity such as, how to cut my own bangs, how to apply eyeliner pencils, etc.  But the ones that are formatted like a magazine that is telling me what's in and thanks.

Today I emailed my friend from Spain to tell her I want a place that people can go for health care that is not a Dr.,s Office, not the emergency room of a hospital, not an Urgent Care, and not a Natural College of Medicine or a Oriental College of Medicine.  My friend and I pride ourselves on taking responsibility for our own health and yet when things go awry each of us has had to resort to the aforementioned so called health care places.  I have had the best care at the Oriental College of Medicine and praise their work but sometimes I have ailments that I don't think acupuncture is really necessary.  But I love their non-invasive approach to diagnosing my illnesses where the other choices scare me with their tactics.

Where could we go for 'useful information" and help when we need a place to go for a healthy consultation?   My friend said we could start a "foster health care center".  I like it.  A place where you could turn to when Dr. Google does not work for you.  A place where doctors would be the kind that used to make house-calls but we would go to them instead.  They would have a bedside manner and not have to pay billions for their equipment so not interested in giving you a million different tests to pay for their overhead.  I know there is a group called "Mad As Hell Doctors".....maybe they would be interested in starting a foster care for those of us who do not need surgery but rather a good listener and the ability to give some sound useful information!!!

Monday, December 5, 2011

Intriguing and Alluring

How does one dress in an intriguing and alluring way?  Those words in our vocabulary even sound old fashioned.  Does anyone even use those words anymore?  And do they mean an attitude or an outfit?  I guess most of us dress for work appropriate but I wonder how many of you even know what your work dress code is?  Mine is open to interpretation,  When working your way up the ladder it is always best to take the cues from the position you are working toward and dress accordingly.  What about those of us who do not have to consider that kind of HR scrutiny?  Do you dress more like Betsy Johnson or Nina Garcia?  Or Heidi Klum?  Tim Gunn has the same eye as the What Not To Wear crew and to me that is just plain wardrobe 101.

Can you get away with being a non-conformist?  It is not easy and people have told me they have lost their job because they wore the wrong kind of earrings to the board room.  It is so easy to dress safe.  Watch the Q. or HSN or look at the mannequins in the windows of the Gap, Ann Taylor, J.Crew, and (yawn) take your ques from there.

If you want to dress to express yourself.....where would you go?  How would you do it?  I have to shop in the Jr. Departments to find anything even remotely interesting to fit my personality.  Everything else seems like tried and true staid and non-creative.  Since I have never been able to afford cashmere or any fine fabric type clothes that are considered well designed and well tailored so that might be a different world.  But in my realm where clothes are just one of my many expenses I need to be frugal.   My budget  only allows me to choose from the H & M, Forever 21, and Jr. Departments at the major department stores.

Can you write your own rules for dress up and take risks, or is the fear too great to get it wrong?  And who's to judge?  I don't even go places where anyone cares how I dress so I just do it for me.  It would be hard for me to look in the mirror and say, oh yeah...intriguing and alluring.  But the fun is in the challenge for me and my artistic endeavor just as others like to create a garden or interior design or a painting etc.   

Sunday, December 4, 2011

How Do You Choose Your Friends?

  When my friends get online to date I always tell them the rule is if he doesn't make you laugh end of story.  One of my friends told me I have too many rules and she lives her life without.  She met X number of men at Starbucks and not one made her laugh and more than one she gave several chances until one day she told me ..............Barbara, guess what?  I have a RULE.   And the rule is if they don't make me laugh at first, no more second chances.  She was wasting her life away waiting for these guys to make her laugh.

Along comes another mutual friend of ours who had enough nightmare stories to write her own book about online matchmaking dating and she knows how to tell it like it is.  But then, out of the blue comes this guy who she had no idea would be her match and wah lah!!!  The perfect fit.  They have been dating for several years now and he proposed a few months ago.  Her first marriage and his second,  Do they make each other laugh??????  You figure it out.

These are the kind of friends I choose to hang with.  Because life is a party.  It just is!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Saturday, December 3, 2011

Saturday Night Dream

HELLO.....what I did today.  Bought myself a tripod and a card reader.  My camera is now mounted and since I have never taken a picture with the camera I am procrastinating.  It is Saturday night and after shopping all day my patience level is not going to be enough to start dealing with learning how to take my picture.  Then after I take it I guess about 6 to 50 times then I will have to learn how to use the reader and when I get it plugged into my computer I have no idea what to do from there.  I am hoping it will be self explanatory?  For sure.

One blogger I like is Chic on the Cheap and she takes awesome pictures.  Come to find out her brother is a professional photographer.  She told me it does not matter what camera you have it is the eye behind the camera .  We shall see.  She has a Canon SLR, I have a Sony Cybershot.  What are my chances to have an eye good enough to match a almost thousand dollar SLR?  My plan is to get an SLR and then taking classes.  For now I need just a Point and Shoot class that does not start until Spring.  So I will have to experiment until then.  Yikes!!

You're a what friends would say to me growing up.  Your head is in the clouds they would say.  That is kind of how I feel this Saturday night.  Like I am in a dream and not facing the reality of tomorrow when I will have to actually figure out how to use my equipment.  And stick with it instead of throwing my hands up and go back into dream mode.

Friday, December 2, 2011

Auditioning For Life

 Here is some useful information.  Well, maybe if I have to tell you it is useful that is the first problem.  I have issues with what people consider their expertise.  I read a book one time that was talking about if anyone calls them self an expert or master of the other way.  Those who really know what they are speaking of through much study and personal experience do not label them self a Master.  My best teachers have told me to experiment for my self.

But do I really want to be auditioning all the time for living live the best that I can?  Or do I want someone that, you got the are ????   I am here to say, "life is a dress rehearsal". 

We are auditioning always for pretend roles that we think we should be playing and dressing for it the way we think we should look like in that role and who am I?  Once in college I took a class called "Who Am I?"  It was awesome.  One time we had to be quiet and do nothing  for 3 hours.  HELP!!  My whole life flashed before me I had so many chores and things I needed or rather my mind told me I needed to do.  I did as directed and those 3 hours were a life changing experience. 

So my suggestion is when constantly auditioning for roles to play find a space in time where you just STOP!  Would you think if it could be life changing you may just do it on a regular basis?  Oh no.   I have not figured out what is so extremely difficult for me to "not do anything" other than my life conditioning is to do , do , do.  I wish I was over it.....or do I?  it may be the wisdom of living a healthy life is to stop auditioning and just be who you are.

Thursday, December 1, 2011

My Fashion Icon

My Number One Style Icon is Simon Doonan.  He is insane in the best way!!!  I would love to surround myself with him.  His poetic humor and honesty is one I envy.  He is the new Ambassador of Creativity at Barney's NY and I wish I could be his ambassador and let everyone know to read all of his books and subscribe to his blog because his insights regarding style and fashion are worthy of all praise. 

Example's please:  Here it is....."Personally speaking, I have always preferred noisy luxury.  If I won the lottery, I would be unable to restrain myself from making all kinds of preposterous purchases, a canary yellow fur chubby with a matching Corvette.........".  The whole article is in Slate Magazine where he writes a fashion column.

So for me, all things Simon, all the time.  I want to be him or with him like a teen wants to be or be with Bieber.  How old am I?   Some things never change.

Wednesday, November 30, 2011

Diet and Exercise Is It A Science?

My question is for those who are over the chronological age of 70.  What do you do to be as healthy and fit as possible?  There are so many books about "aging gracefully" I wonder what real life people are doing?  Bess Be Fit blog is about the age of 20 somethings.  I have seen other blogs but none that seem to be the 70 plus.  Where are you????

When my mother would go bowling in her 80's and 90's she said many people asked her what she did to stay so peppy and in great shape.  She was under 5 feet tall and under 100 pounds and said she felt the best when she weighed the same as she did in high school.  She put a lot of work into preparing her meals and believed food was the best medicine.  She did not go to doctors and took no medication.  She also said that all those who asked her "how do you do it" really did not want to know.  She said most people do not take care of themselves and do not believe they can an rely on doctors to tell them what is what.

If anyone is out there and could comment on the science they are experimenting with to be healthy I would be very interested.  Mine is hit and miss.  My exercise is ballet class, walking, and a few yoga moves that I do consistently and to me that is a key.  My diet and nutrition I keep experimenting with and have never been happy with my food choices.  Just when I think I have a system my body seems to want something different.  I like to keep it simple because I do not cook.  I love food and if I cooked I would eat and then I gain weight over night.

What is your diet and exercise secret?

Tuesday, November 29, 2011

Looking Out The Window

Getting ready for ballet class.  Fitness is not for sissies.  I asked a co-worker today if she was still biking all over the world?  She goes on these long marathon rides that sound brutal on the butt.  She said because it is too cold and too wet outside she bikes indoors now.  I told her, oh of course you would.  She said she had to because if she stopped she would never start again.  HELLO!!   That's me with ballet class.  Once you stop it is so hard to get with it to go back because the body screams NO....

The question is why is the body naturally plain lazy?  Or is it our mind that dictates what the body will do?  Another co-worker at the end of the day said, "I don't see how you can go to ballet class tonight.  I am so tired when I get off work all I want to do is go home and sleep."  I told her I can't stop.  That if I tell myself I am too tired and not go then I will never dance again.  She said she gets it.  She just can't do it.

Monday, November 28, 2011

What Are You Waiting For

This morning I was in a blur.  I woke up tired and drained for no reason.  With no idea what I was going to throw together for an outfit  and minimum level of care.  What I wore Express Victorian style crystal drop earrings, my bronze colored velor Victorian style jacket with little pleats in the back from the Gap, white short sleeve sweater from Express, cami, dark wash denim jeggings form Urban Outfitters, my new creme beige shooties from Icing.  Oh, and a huge red pottery ring.  Can you see it?  The jacket I wore from the Gap is about 10 years old when the buyers bought an item that looked entirely female not the unisex style they normally go for. 

Hopefully I can take pics of my everyday outfits and post them soon.  Not because they are so awesome for sure but I want to learn how to do it.  I also see where I am going to have to start choosing my clothing with an eye to what is editorial.  That will be interesting because I don't wear stripes, plaids, bright colors or any patterns or prints so I have no idea where I see this headed.  Here I am speaking of editorial when as of now I have no idea how to use a tripod, or a camera, or model, and to do all of this learning on stage feels weird but remind myself no one is reading this anyway.

This is the time of evening that is hard.  An athlete in training has to get to the studio to practice.  I think my hip is healed enough to go back after a week off.  We shall see.  It is so hard to go back because my mind tells me I can take one more day off with no problem.  But it is harder not to go because my mind goes into all kinds of guilt trips and then this process repeats itself every night until I go back so to get off the merry-go-round I need to put myself on automatic pilot and turn my mind much as possible. The idea if I leave it up to a choice it is nerve wracking, silence my thoughts and I can go with the flow........and sometimes the flow means bumping into logs and debris as well as a strong current going in a different direction..........

Sunday, November 27, 2011

The Elegance of the Hedgehog

Have your read this book by Muriel Barbery?  A book that made me laugh and cry.  How many times does that happen?  And then today went looking for thin ankle socks.  NO.  There are thin trouser socks and the rest are thick.  Dang....and supposedly we are the land of many choices.  Huh?  Have you tried to find a V-neck tee shirt?  If you can the material is nasty slimy and shows every lump and bump you don't even think you have.  Round necks and cowl necks have been the only choice for a few years now so looks like I will have to get online to see what I can find.  In this land of plenty the idea I cannot find a sock and a tee-shirt is scary.

What I did find I did not need.  Another pair of boots.  I found a pair of $100 Born boots at Marshalls that I loved but not my size.  Cheap boots fit me the best.  I go to Macy's and Nordstrom and cannot find a boot of any price that fits my style or foot.  I have discovered that cheap boots fit my size 8 extremely narrow foot the best.  I insert arch supports, wear fat socks and a toe cushion and I am set to go.  Especially if it is a lace up the front boot.  I don't like black or brown.....I do like beige or white.  Good luck.  I am so weird.  I always want something that is the wrong season or the wrong trend.  I always wore white jeans and now.....guess what?  Everyone is wearing white jeans but can I find any that fit?  And the material they make them in is horrible.  Way to thick.  Why do we need jeans the weight of what a carpenter wears to roof a house?  HELLO!!!!  I am just going from my house, to car, to desk.....who needs thick heavy jeans?  I don't even know who to ask those kind of questions.  Do you?????  Or maybe I am the only one who does not like thick heavy jeans.

Back to the boots I bought today that I did not go looking for nor did I need.  There they were, a light soft creme beige fake swede, lace up the front, wedge shootie with sherling lining.  $40.00 at Icing.  Have you ever looked at their boots when shopping for a fake flower or cheap accessories?  No, me either because at a glace I can tell what I don't like  This girl knows fashion!!!  Now if I only knew how to take a picture of myself for this blog.  Maybe I am glad I don't.  I have no idea how the pictures will turn out since I have never been a model I may be wishing to be able to do something that is exactly what I don't want to be doing????

Okay, last way to be lonely #6....No longer seek companionship of constant conversation with ourselves,

Saturday, November 26, 2011

Offer Your Life As Art

Hello world......I know you are out there waiting for something on this fine Saturday night.  Not a breath of wind, 40 degrees, my perfect autumn evening.  Listening to life in the next door apartment, I like hearing music I would not normally listen to coming from somewhere else.

Gary Spalding made his story more dramatic and funny and offered his life as art.  I have not a problem dramatizing and exaggerating my life until I go to blog about it and then it turns in to drivel.  I guess I need that human to bounce off of?  Why can't I just imagine there is a human I am telling my story to?  I have taken creative writing classes and listened to all of Natalie Goldberg tapes......and taken the Artist's Way Workshop so?????  What?????

This is a learning experiment in communicating my life as if I was talking to you.  The thing is I need to know who you are because depending upon your personality I formulate my story and  hear your response and take-off on that.  In the mean time, way #5 how to be lonely:  Relate to how things are instead of trying to make them okay.

Friday, November 25, 2011

.....and everything is going fine

one night listening to NPR I heard a voice that seriously made me laugh plus I totally identified with what he was saying.  I wrote his name down and read all of his books and could not wait for him to do more and more and then he was in a terrible car accident and ultimately took his own life and this all happened within a few years.  I felt like I knew this person.

  Have you ever heard or seen someone and felt close to them?  I felt like I was related to him somehow.  And so it goes......check him out.  He is amazing.  I just bought the book "the journals of spalding gray" and I am trying to buy the DVD on "and everything is going fine" a documentary about his life that apparently is unavailable.  That was going to be a present to myself.

I will be reporting about what I read in his journals.....I can't wait.  He is an extremely talented artist.  In the meantime way #4 how to be lonely:  "at every opportunity come back to the present moment with compassionate attention."

Thursday, November 24, 2011

Poetry on Thanksgiving

Today is when I play the lone ranger.  I do not like tradition and do not relate to calendar dates that dictate to me what to celebrate and when.  This is my day to take a long silent walk along the river in glorious living color, birds flying, poetry in motion.  My daughter calling me, also a friend from Huntington Beach I have not seen in forever, and going shopping at Powell's books is as extroverted as I get.  It has not occurred to me that I could call a friend as well.  What is wrong with me???

Yes these two are my idols.  I could be around their humor all day long.  Don has received more flack about his stick then anyone yet I got it right away. Due to my Dad who loved to tease.   I love to tease.  When I tease someone I can get to know them much faster.  Most people can't take it, don't get it and don't think it's funny.  It's so hard for me to communicate when I can't joke around with someone.  Who is on the other side of this blog I can tease?   Oh my gosh,  if only Rosanne Barr was there.  Her show is the best that ever was.

So poetry on Thanksgiving to me is fun, funny, and ways to make me laugh.  Or ways I can make someone else laugh.  Talk about an art form.  Whoa.  I would give all.

Now way #3 to be lonely.....are you ready?  Stop looking for something to entertain us or to save us.

Wednesday, November 23, 2011

Feel It, Wear It, Love It

I wonder where this blog is going?  Do you ever start down a path only to wonder what the heck?  This is the time of year that brings a lot of feelings to the surface don't you think?  I just broke into tears a few hours ago after returning from a walk on the river.  Oh yeah Feel It.....

One of my sayings that I remind myself of is "a smile is worth a thousand good intentions."  Since I prefer being an introvert when I walk around in public I am not one to say "hi" when I pass people.  I remind myself to just smile if I do not care to speak unless spoken to.  Walking home tonight I pass two maintenance men putting up Christmas lights on some trees.  It wasn't until I had passed them by I realized they both had spoken to me and said "good evening".  I had just kept walking as I told myself I should go back and smile and say "sorry I did not realize you had spoken to me, good evening to you".  Did I?  No I just kept walking and when I opened my apartment door and stepped inside I just burst out in tears.  I felt mean and nasty.  Feel It, Wear It.

Tomorrow is a new day.  My intention is to be a lot more friendly and cheery and joy full and spread the love!!    Not in a do- gooder way but honest and genuine.  We all have both introvert and extrovert tendencies and tis' the season for me to be more extroverted.  None of that phony "have a nice day" routine but an effort to put a smile on my face......feel it, wear it, love it.

I have to practice inserting an image into this blog now.  Maybe a picture of an ESTJ.  That would be an ex-boyfriend that I have no pictures of.  I am pretty sure Bill Clinton is one.  And I am only practicing its not like someone is judging this blog to be good or bad so...... way to be lonely #2.  Contentment: we no longer believe escaping our loneliness is going to bring happiness, courage, or strength.

Love it.

Tuesday, November 22, 2011

What's Right Now

Has anyone taken the Myers Briggs personality test?  I am an INFP which means I am only one percent of the population.  This is all explained in a book called "Please Understand Me".  Reading the book you discover that the title is impossible for us as humans.  We cannot understand each other but we can learn to "appreciate each other" and that is what I love.  My preference is to travel in this world as an Introvert which means I am comfortable being solo, and as one of my best Extroverted friends said, , "You don't mind being lonely".  She can not understand that because she needs to be with people.

Right now it is the time of year many express the fear of being lonely.. I find myself as a loner struggling big time this time of year with the question, "What's wrong with me?"  Now I have lived long enough to not beat myself up when my mind starts down that path and I am aware of this now as only a thought and I don't need to buy into I used to.

I came across an article called "6 Ways To Be Lonely"

l   Less Desire......the willingness to be lonely without resolution when everything in us yearns for something else to change our mood.
 Oh yeah......I get in moods when I am not even aware of it and feel like I am going stir crazy if I don't do something, anything.......I think being lonely is an art form.

Right now my exercise of choice,  ballet class is not happening.  My hip injury shows no sign of healing and this is day 3 of no dance.  So now begins the feeling sorry for self and eating way more than I do when I dance.  Logically since I do not want to gain any weight when unable to dance one would think I would be so careful about what I eat.  Instead......I get in a mood that wants to sabotage my discipline and training.  Right now what I am doing is not what I want.  HUH??

Number 2 Way To Be Lonely tomorrow.........

Monday, November 21, 2011

Great Finds

HELP!!  I have a stressed left hip that needs rest from ballet class.  I find healing an injury so hard to do when in fact all I have to do is REST.  When one is addicted to ballet class resting is a major challenge.  My expectation is to dance forever and to go every night for the rest of my life.

Does anyone else set up impossible expectations?  It is just crazy.  I continue to write down positive notes along the way but why?  The other day before my injury I found myself writing down: "Be open to the guidance of synchronicity and do not let expectations hinder your path."  Okay....why do I write down these things then get presented with a chance to use it and have no energy to even go there.  I just want to focus on how mad I am that I cannot go to class tonight or maybe tomorrow night or after that etc.....

A great find would be I guess a smarter way to deal with adversity.  Also what appears to be a problem may not be at all.....

Sunday, November 20, 2011

Must Have Bags

Ok..not funny.  But that is what the media labels over 40's

DANG...if only I knew how to insert photos I would not have to play all these games.  I think I sort of get it now but still a lot of uncertainty.  It took a half-hour going back and forth to get this and then could not figure out how to get the text to start from the left side of page and after clicking on a million things wah lah there is the cursor where I want it with no idea how it got there.....GRRR


Saturday, November 19, 2011

Saturday Night in Portland

Another install of a blog that no one is reading.  HELLO!!!  Okay I am practicing.  Lets go with a new picture that no one will see....a vacation in Branson, Arkansas at a show on the strip. daughter thinks she looks like me but she  is  far more beautiful.  And talented.

Prepare to be Lonely

I am practicing to set up a fashion blog and since no one is reading this I can express myself while inserting photos that have no sense or sensibilities.  Here goes.  My thoughts this evening very different from what I wrote this morning on my way to ballet class.   It was all about the way ballet teaches to PREPARE for everything.  Tonight after ballet class and a full day of mall shopping where the only purchase was a bottle of Sebastian Repair Shampoo after trying on the same pair of platform booties two different times at Charlotte Russe and deciding tops at Macy's that were all a definite feet hurt, my legs hurt and my hips hurt so my perspective is totally different than this morning. 

Oh yeah......this is a picture that resembles the way I feel right now.!!!!  I will expand on the title of Lonely theme in my next blog.

Friday, November 18, 2011

A Lfe of Iconic Service???

Last night watching one of my favorite TV shows....Project Accessories.  I was stunned when I heard Kelly Osbourne introduced as a "fashion icon".  REALLY???  Today I received an email from my favorite fashion contributor Simon Doonan.  The title of his article for Slate Magazine, "What Is a Fashion Icon?"  He was asked to speak about how it feels to be one.  Now he is in my mind the real deal.  He has earned the title by writing many books that are hilarious and being the artistic director of Barney's NY forever.  He is the perfect example of a fashion icon in my book.

Oh WOW!!  He is amazing with a sense of humor that I would die to hang out with.  His observations are spot on and no one says it better or funnier.  Let me quote: a high fashion icon is obliged to hobble around in ever more outrageous outfits while maintaining a brutal minimum weight.  Being a HF icon is, in many ways, a life of service." 

Can I relate?  Me the ever dieter for the last 50 years in order to feel good in my clothes.  It is not easy going through this culture of food worshipers and every social event centered around food to be disciplined and centered enough to make a different choice.  It all comes down to choices.  My mother said everyone always asked her how she stayed so slim.  She said, "they don't really want to know".  It takes a desire to feel healthy and fit and fashion is the icing on the cake.

It is a life of service in a way.  A service to one self to stay as healthy as possible.  I am so hungry right now.  It is 7pm so I will have some tuna fish with chips and two rice cakes with a tablespoon of jam on each and a cup of chocolate Svelte.  I wonder what Simon has for Friday night dinner? 

Did you know William Schatner is 80?  He looks FAB........

Thursday, November 17, 2011

Art On The Runway

Do you love Project Runway?  For me it is the best of TV.  I find myself drawn to the artistic challenge shows as some are drawn to game shows.  I like Food Network Challenge, Home Designer Challenges, plus all shows that show how artists create their art.  Someone else voiced my opinion when they said, "I am not interested in the finished art I am interested in the process of how it was created."

Do you ever think of what you wear each day to work or on the street is your "runway"?  Do you create interesting outfits or safe?  Do you like to please yourself in how you feel on your own runway of life or are you more "out there" wanting to show off for a boyfriend, or co-workers?

I have a friend who really cares about how she presents herself through the way she dresses and even just meeting for a coffee date likes to look her best.  We like to shop for clothes and discuss fashion.  I have another friend who hates to shop and dresses just for her own pleasure and comfort.  She always look like a work of art.  She is from Barcelona and she dresses as one from her colorful culture.  I dress for fun.  I like to take risks and put together my outfit to "feel" like I want to for the day. 

.  I read in Style magazine that white boots are "OUT"

Wednesday, November 16, 2011

Fashion in Portland is age 20?

Hmmmm, looks like Portland, Oregon only has fashion for the young.  I found a blog that talks about how people on the streets of Portland only dress for the weather and comfort.  Exactly my thoughts.  Go any given place in this city restaurants. theater, Zupans, Pioneer Place, the Pearl District.....everyone men, women and children are in jeans.  That's it.  Jeans and a top in the summer and a rain jacket in the winter.  It has been said Portland is only interested in hunting, fishing, and a Blazer game.

It is fun for me to add some creativity into my life by the way I dress.  If you look at the fashion blogs in Portland it looks like only the 20 somethings have any thoughts about fashion. 

Tuesday, November 15, 2011

Danny Boy where did you go.........

Seldom do I become enamored by people I have never met and just see on TV.  It happened with Arvydas Sabonis, the NBA Blazer BB player.....

and Danny Tidwell, a contestant on So You Think You Can Dance....

What about them captured my awe and fascination with everything they said and did.  I know they both excel at their sport and yet so do many many people.  So what it is about those two that I think are so admirable?  Of course their talent is beyond compare.  I know Arvydas moved back to Lithuania but where is Danny?  So many dancers yet something about him that is incredibly special...I know his brother is a choreographer for SYTYCD but not a word about Danny???

Monday, November 14, 2011

This is crazy!!!  Lauren Heart and her version of rockin'  the boots.  Now watch for Barbie next!

Woe is me.....I am in despair not knowing what I am doing on this computer.  Everyday is a new adventure and not in a good way.  Yes, I am as dramatic and over exaggerate but that's what I do. 

On my way to ballet class and I can believe when I get home this post will have some glitch in it that I will have no idea how to solve.  If only I looked as beautiful as Martha in my ANGST!!!!!

Saturday, November 12, 2011

Ballet class

Saturday morning is ballet class.  It is something I do without question now like brushing my teeth.  When I cannot go because of illness or injury oh it is pity time....I go into withdrawals and feel like I am not myself and whoa is me and what will become of me sets in with fear that I will lose all that I feel I have gained as an athlete in this sport,  I cannot even imagine the amount of Saturdays and all days I would have to dance in order to look like the picture above.

The amount of discipline I put into my dance seems so weak to me yet to my friends and co-workers they think I am a fanatic when it comes to ballet class.  I go 4 times a week sometimes more.  I eat healthy but I could do so much better.  I have been on a diet for over 50 years and hover right around 115 pounds.  I always strive to weigh 5 pounds less and stay healthy and have only been able to weigh 110 pounds by starving myself and anyone can do that.  The trick is to eat healthy and stay strong enough to dance.

Today I think I have learned how to insert images into my blog.  We shall see.  A work in progress always.  I wonder what it would feel like to work at something and excel to the extent of the dancer in that picture?  Oh not judge or compare myself......that takes constant attention.....

Friday, November 11, 2011

Style in Spirit

  I am reading the book "Art Talk", conversations with women artists.  I love personal stories.  When the Olympics are on TV I hear people say, "stop wasting time on the personal stories.  Just show the event.  I am the opposite.  I enjoy seeing the person dealing with everyday life and then see them fly down the mountain in the down hill race or whatever. 

Not the PR personal stories.  Those I can smell.  Usually child stars that continue in the media have to get rehearsed about what they will and will not share....I get it.  When you are "popular" and speak your mind you set yourself up for mass controversey so better to have managers who coach you to say what is lovable.  The magazine interviews are messed up.  So canned and scripted.

The book Art Talk was written several years ago and yet the introduction said out of 13 interviews she felt like 3 of the women artists had pretty much stayed to an exchange that they had already determined they were going to say.  The book is a real conversation with questions that the artist knew was going to be asked but because it was a taped exchange it could go in any direction just as a normal talking back and forth can happen easily jumping from one subject to another in the moment.

Are clothes involved in the body living in the spirit or the spirit living in the body?.  When you get dressed each day is your spirit showing?  Then where are the rules?  It seems to me they are unspoken.  Then it comes from your individual expression.  Are you even aware of judging someone by what they have on?  Do you ever change your opinion of someone when because of the way they dress you thought they were one way and then when you get to know them discover they are different than what you expected?

I hardly ever find someone whose dress is completely different than their personality.  What if I did not judge a person by their cover?  I feel like I see deeper than the facade.  But then I am just making stories up about who I think they are or want them to be. I don't think of myself as a shallow person until I judge someone by the way they look.   Awhile back I told myself my intention for the day was not to judge myself or anyone else. 

Then I took off to go shopping.  I saw female after female all in walking shoes and I thought they should know better.   I told myself the next person I saw in walking shoes I was actually going to give a dirty look to show them that is just wrong.    I give the next female the "nasty" look obviously looking at them from the shoes up.  I had no idea if the person noticed my way of saying "what not to wear" when I suddenly burst out laughing at myself.  I realized what I had just done was the exact opposite of my intention for the day.  I told myself I was "so bad" then aware I had just turned my judging onto myself.  Ooops.   I smiled to remember "a smile is worth a thousand good intentions" .......and was able to feel a space of non-judgement.

Thursday, November 10, 2011

Impressions in dress

People judge us by how we look, what we have on, our appearance. Do we care? It seems the popular opinion out there is the younger we are the more we care about how we look. I disagree. I don't think age has anything to do with it. I think it is where we are emotionally and what is going on in our personal life that drives our style of dress. When younger I think we are driven by our peers...if we hang with girls who are totally into fashion then it will be the same. I grew up in a family where I was not allowed to focus on my dress so it was not fun to be clothes crazed. When I left home at the age of 17 and ran off to San Diego with a friend who was a Nazarene I went in line with her which was no make-up and plain clothes. When I married at 21 I just remember being more concerned with babies and sewing my own clothes. I did not have money to be at the mall anyway.

Through the years my fashion desire became more prevalent and one time I over heard a co-worker ask who he thought was fashionable and he said.....ME! I was shocked. I knew I cared about how I looked but I never thought of myself as fashion forward. Have you ever received an off-handed compliment that set you off into taking it to heart? Suddenly every day I focused on my dress completely and have ever since. I do not go anywhere without being all about the way I look. Anybody? No I am not a teen, not a twenty something, not an ex-model, not anyone that is the stereotype portrayed out there as one who is passionate about the way she looks.

Wednesday, November 9, 2011

much to learn....

Starting this fashion blog without even knowing how to use my computer programs let alone a camera and tripod....while working full time.....and running off to another ballet class....the process feels like it is taking forever. Asking for help is one thing but not even knowing who to ask is major. Who has a laptop with a Firefox and MSIE browser and knows the steps it takes to fashion blog in ten easy steps or more? I have started other ventures in my life like getting a degree in broadcasting and doing what it took to network to get a job as a rock & roll disc-jockey for 5 years. Then decided to end it with no idea what or where to go next. It took me a whole year of un-employment and soul searching to end up at a liberal arts college to get a 4 year degree in Pastoral Ministries only to change course and switch to a B. A. in Social Sciences with an emphasis in physical education. It took a boyfriend pushing me literally to get past my shyness to teach a class I had designed called "Body/Mind Fitness". With his insisting I do it NOW not when I felt I would be ready was the key and I went on to teach yoga classes for 25 years. Every new adventure brings its own challenges and feels risky. Not knowing if I am doing things in the right way. "When the student is ready the teacher will come".....and in many forms......I know I am not alone in these transitions. It is fun when I dont get caught up in the "doing" and stay with the learning.........

Tuesday, November 8, 2011

Falling together

Why does it seem like when others decide to do something everything just falls into place? One of my best firends wanted to quit her job and start her own business in dog massage. And so she did. She took classes to get her certificate in dog massage, had her daughter-in-law design her web page and within a year she is in business with "Loving Touch Dog Massage" teaching workshops etc. Now if you ask her she would say it took alot of work to get this going and I know its just appears like eveything just fell together. I could give other examples but we all know people who decide to do something and then be honest we all know people like me who decide to do something and run into all kind of road blocks so keep taking detours.....but that is is just a different way of life. I am not saying one way is good the other is bad......infact I am sooo taking to heart the message "You might want to expunge the word "good" from your vocabulary. If you're busy being good you're probably going to miss this. The real stuff going on all around you."

Monday, November 7, 2011

I need a computer mentor

"Ask and ye' shall receive" is a truth I honor and respect.  I am asking for a computer mentor.      "When the student is ready the teacher will come".  I do not expect one to knock on my door,  I am open to finding where to sign up for classes......whatever it takes.

Watching the story of Susan Boyle last night is most inspiring.  She wanted to become a professional singer since she was a  child and worked at her talent and it became REAL.  She is a living testimony of what it means to go forward.

Moving forward with fashion blogging means I will need to learn many things and it seems strange to me that I cannot even find a class or direction that makes sense to me to sign up for right now.  I will continue to do what I know to do and that is to breathe, breathe, breathe, and be aware of the present moment and know I am learning all the while.

Sunday, November 6, 2011

Stay Loose

My jaw is limp .....but no I am chewing my jaw is limp.....stay loose and we shall see what appears on my blog that is not superficial??  Yeah right.  I am staring out in space...let go....let judgements fall away.  Then comes clarity.  It's okay to try new things and experiment....what do you experiment with?

I am experimenting with apple cider to heal the red spot on my nose.  I am always experimenting with my diet and how my food choices effect my health.  Currently I am cutting back on salads.  WHAT?  Every health book I have ever read MORE salads.....and so I did......and I feel like my stomach was always upset and I think my digestion did not agree with too many greens so now I am trying just 3 cups a week.

What if the opposite of good isn't bad?  What if the opposite of good is REAL?  What is real for me is experimenting with my diet to an obsession.  Making judgement after judgement about it being good or bad and NOT staying loose at all.  Human conditioning is impossible to change.  The only thing to do is as K. (Krishnamurti) totally in the moment and see what happens.  I experiment with that too.

Wednesday, November 2, 2011


This is one big experiment in figuring out as you go blogging.

The instructions do not work for me.  I am over and out when it comes to figuring out how to put pictures into my blog. I have issues.  Not just this.  It feels like I have several problems that if I could just figure out they would goooooooo away.  The more frustrated I become to get my health back on track by NOT going to a doctor but being my own healer the key is to learn how to relax and not let myself feel stressed.

I just saw a drug advertised on tv called Align.  People must be taking all the tv drugs or they would not have the millions of dollars to advertise them.  Who are these people that take these pills.  Am I jealous underneath my desire to heal myself without drugs or doctors.

Breathe, I am being taught patience and the wisdom to know what to do.  PICTURE this.....a healthy fit person that is responsible for taking care of herself.  If I could be in the place of peace with it all and be thankful for my whole being instead of striving for a place that is the perfect picture of health. 

Monday, October 31, 2011


Hello,  It's the one who does not know how to insert pictures into my blog, who is just out here winging it.  I really do not know the purpose of blogging everyday just to prove I can do it.  There is so much I need to learn.  I learn from other peoples blogs so maybe when I learn how to put relevance and content into this blog it will make sense.

Relevance for me is what is now.  Right now I am waiting for a neighbor to come over to help me with my computer.  I am looking out the picture window of my apartment at the wonder and splendor change.  If anyone thinks nothing ever changes just look out the window in Autumn and it is not subtle it is in your face bright glorious change of colors in red, wine, gold, orange, so incredible!!!

I love that I can have my face in a computer screen and out the window gazing at the trees, sky, nature.  Do people ever change?  Or is it just reflected in nature?  I know changes occur but is it deep and lasting or is it all based on thought?  The idea of change and just when I think maybe I have changed my ways up it pops and oops......what happenned?

Nature teaches me that change does happen naturally and in its own time so I know my computer skills will change if I keep at it.  

Sunday, October 30, 2011

Admire the Unexpected

I heard on the radio today that the number one problem people have is their appearance or the appearance of others.  Shows like How Do I Look and What Not To Wear are hits.  I think if you want to look "nice" or "board room ready" go to Ann Taylor's or Talbot's, look at their mannequins and wear that. 

I have two examples of what I mean by dressing with a flair and creating their own unique look.  One is my ballet friend Erin.  I met up with her wearing a pea green knit cloche with a rose embellishment; a white cropped tank top with her bare midriff peaking out just right; long black yoga pants; and a creme full length to the ground light weight sweater over all, with clogs.  Okay, where did she wear this?   Walking  her dog in the park along the river.  Love

Anyone can look correct. " Love your outfit" usually means you fit in perfectly.  I am talking about taking off the rack clothes and wearing them in unexpected ways and unexpected places.  This is the art of it all. 

My second example is Ali who works at a fashion boutique I visit.  She will take  basic items and make it her own.  A tailored vintage jacket with a mickey mouse tee shirt.  .  I asked her how she chooses her pieces and she told me she never likes to wear what's "in".  Immediately I related to that.  For example I began wearing feather earrings two years ago and now that they are everywhere I will give them a rest.

Originality is the fun of dressing and celebrating the differences within us all in our expression lets us learn to appreciate the unexpected....or not.

Saturday, October 29, 2011

Buddhist Training

Steve Jobs had the Buddhist training.  I just learned this and so it goes he would choose alternative methods of healing.  All my friends go nuts when I try to heal myself naturally.  I have had hits and misses with taking the reigns but nothing as serious as cancer.

Right now I have a red spot on my nose that has been there for as long as I can remember.  Maybe 20 years?  I just cover it with Erase and end of story. crusts over and then I get scared and try to figure out how to heal it.  Every one tells me to go to a dermatologist. I instead go to the net and try apple cider and think it worked....well not all the way so a friend tells me New Zealand honey heals all now I am back to the honey.  Maybe because my mother did not believe in going to doctors so there go I.

Also I have a metallic taste in my mouth that has been there for a few months now.  I already know everyone will freak saying ...get to a conventional doctor.  When all else fails I go to the Oriental College of Medicine so I may be on my way there soon.

A health, fit, and fashion blog needs to be honest if nothing else.  For me I cannot stand blogs that regurgitate information that to me is conventional (duh).  Example:  Check with your doctor.  Well hello my doctor is myself.  So I am checking in with myself.

Buddhist teachings are for me precious.  I think because it teaches to take responsibility for yourself and not give your intelligence away.

Friday, October 28, 2011

Craaaazy Talk

Too crazy.  I am wanting to do too much too soon.  I need to take a computer class to learn the basics.

Health, fitness, and fashion is about challenging myself to do something new.  Don't know why I thought I could learn about using this computer, blogging and taking pics I could just do without taking a class or having a teacher.  I like the idea of just jumping in but then reality sets in and even when taking yoga classes the first step is to:  find a teacher.

I like to learn things on my own whenever possible.l  I am far from conventional.  My nature is to go off the beaten path.  This is why I applaud Andrew Wiel for stepping up to say Steve Jobs alternative choices for healing his cancer were not necessarily wrong.  No one knows and just because the medical research with the most financial backing as in everything else carries the loudest voice.  So I like to listen to the softer voices that feel right to me.

Taking responsibility for our own self is the key in my opinion.   I like teachers who encourage me to find out for myself and share in a dialogue of learning choices.  As K. (Krishnamurti) teaches to honor our own intelligence.

It takes patience to learn and to know when to ask for help.  My ego is beginning to second guess this idea of just keep blogging every day......telling me I am nuts and no one else with as little computer experience as I would ever just start blogging.   so I will breathe, breathe, breathe, and remind myself I can delete, delete, delete.

One Speed: Go

I have no idea where this is going to be published?


Thursday, October 27, 2011


Way too much I dont know about this computer let alone how to blog.  I am more lost today then last week when I first started.  I just click on all kinds of icons and feeds, and now I think it went to bite me.  I am more confused than ever.

I feel soooo lost.  I am going to have to come up with a way to learn how to do this blogging..  I swear the instructions  that said to just start......sooo inspiring for me last week when I started now I think........meant someone who knows at least grade school computer skills which I do not have. 

What does this have to do with health, fitness and fashion?  When confidence is no where to be found?  There are times when confidence just leaves me and trying to get it back only feels false and then comes the expression "fake it til you make it" Joshua on Project Runway said when he was not happy with one of his creations for the runway. 

I like to get inspiration and confidence from what I see in others.  Tonight I will get it from Joshua, Viktor, Anya and Kimberly.

Wednesday, October 26, 2011

Lets Talk Style

My granddaughter loves fashion.  She wants to be a Next Top Model and loves to practice posing for pictures.  I love fashion.  She lives in Arkansas, I live in Oregon and we only get to see each other once a year. 

I began drawing pictures of what I was going to wear to work the followingt day, taking a picture of the drawing on my phone and sending it to her.  I want to start this fashion blog and send it to her but I have to learn how to set everything up, use a camera, a tripod, etc. which all seems way overwhelming to me right now.

Lets talk fashion.  I  am going to describe my outfits in words that I will be wearing the following day until I can figure out how to photograph them.

I am a risk taker in fashion and like to "feel" some kind of statement for the day.  Like choosing a character in a play for the day that suits me.  Luckily I work in an environment that allows me to be as creative as I would like in my dress.  I like to create a "look" fpr the day but NOT a "costume" look.  So how am I going to style white knee high boots?

Tomorrow I will be wearing white boots that I call my go- go boots because it feels like no one wears white boots but me and that they really stand out as a "fashion no-no".  Therein lies the risk.  With the white boots (on sale at a boutique for $15.00) I add Levi white skinny jeans to elongate my leg line, then add an ooff-white oversize lightweight poncho with hood (from H & M),over that a blue jean jacket accessorized with a faux fur collar added both from H & M..  The vide is a 70's look.  I will add only a pair of stud earrings.

Would anyone but me dare to wear this combo???

Tuesday, October 25, 2011


 "Poser: my life in twenty-three yoga poses" by Claire Dederer is a great book.  One  I highly recommend  for all athletes even if you have never taken a yoga class. .

 I taught yoga classes for 25 years.  My path to teaching yoga was an organic experience. 

I was in awe of  my dance teacher.  My boyfriend at that time said, "You could be her". WHAT???? I was a total beginner I could never be like her.  As I continued to take her class while working on my Bachelors Degree in Social Science I also did some  internships in Physical Education.   I designed and implemented a class and workshop called "Body/Mind/Fitness" and began teaching Hath Yoga classes upon graduation.

Somehow I feel like this blog experience is organic as well.  It started with admiring other blogs....then thought hey could I?  Then startred asking the universe for help choosing a computer and it was blogs that helped me choose my Toshiba is blogs that continue to teach me what icon's to click on each night when I am learning my way. It is like dance class.....frustrating, fun, and I want to hurry up and get it right!!!

I have learned along the way with the yoga teachings that practice is not to seek improvement but to breathe, breathe, breathe, create the space within the body, mind, spirit to, just be. It sounds so cliche but it is wisdom handed down through the ages that cannot be denied...

Can one be an athlete and, just be, without trying to???

Monday, October 24, 2011

Jump In

Wanting to start a fashion blog with little computer experience and no camera  I came across the Penelope Trunk blog.  . WOW!! The girl is  all about  INSPIRATION !!!
.   She says...practice, practice, practice. I feel like I am a pre-ballet student that jumped into the Level Three ballet class by mistake.

Maybe Penelope is speaking to those that know alot more about Windows 7 and computer lingo and how to use a camera to take your own photos to post and how to import them into your blog etc. I do not even have words to explain all that I feel I do not know in order to know what I am doing.

Luckily I have been studying ballet for 20 years and know what it means to feel like a clutz and stick with it through tears and ego screaming at me with every excuse imaginable.  I was able to learn how to let that inner voice go and just go on automatic pilot with work and effort and just showing up to class 5 times a week.  I have improved over the years and it is definitely a passion I love as my favorite form of exercise.  I tell myself I am an athlete in training when the body, mind and spirit gets lazy and makes excuses.   Why is the body just naturally lazy??

Just like in ballet class I look for someone to blame for what I consider "too hard" or "not good enough"  Just like I want someone to blame for these lame posts with no pictures and what feels like a major hill to climb just to learn how to use my camera and get a tripod to take my pictures.  So I want to blame Peneolope even though I know her advice is exactly what I need to treat this like I did as a beginning dancer and just SHOW UP and JUMP IN!!

Martha Graham wrote that everyone is god's athlete. That we are all athletes in training.   Whatever you spend most of your time and give energy to is your athletic endeavor of choice.  What is yours?  Do you have more than one?  Do you just jump in?

Sunday, October 23, 2011

A Smile

One of my favorite affirmatios;is ...."A smile is worth a thousand good intentions." ; I thought it would only work if I had someone to smile at but no.......when I smile to myself it somehow feels like it truly is worth a thousand good intentions.

Saturday, October 22, 2011

Diet Makeover

J. Krishnamurti is my favorite teacher.  K. died of pancreatic cancer at the age of 94.  Steve Jobs died of pancreatic cancer at the age of 54.  Both men lived what appeared to be healthy, fit lives.

I wonder if anyone knows another when it comes to physical fitness?  When I was pregnant with my first child the doctor asked me if I wanted to take amphetamines.  Being raised not to take even an aspirin unless absolutely necessary I declined.  He told me they would help me not to gain too much weight.  I gained 30 pounds.  I had a healthy happy baby boy.   The weight stayed so I began my "eating just to stay thin" diet which meant afraid to eat anything at all.

Fifteen months later pregnant with my second child I did not wait to be asked.  The drug was an incredible experience giving me an energy I had never known.  I gained very little weight and had a healthy happy baby boy with the easiest delivery.

Six years later pregnant with my third child I demanded more of those please.  I gained little weight again and had a healthy beautiful baby girl.   Hoping to get a refill but denied I remember coming home to lay down on the couch super tired for about a year. 

Somehow I discovered "diet pills" in the health food department at the grocery store and experimented enough to know that only the ones with ephedra actually worked.  The day the FDA banned the herb I considered myself lucky to know how to order them online.

The point one knew.  I appeared to eat green salads and yogurt and was praised
for not eating junk food.

Several years ago I decided to stop the diet pills.  Wanting to be healthy and fit I knew the pills were not about that.  I dont know if my diet makeover is working or not.  Did K. have a healthy diet?  Did Steve Jobs?  It appears we will never know.  And if we did what could we learn?

Friday, October 21, 2011


Okay, it's Friday night and I am figuring out this whole posting thing. I vacillate between "this is bunk I need help" to "wow this is fun doing it myself". Craziness sets in with all the options to file it, save it, send it, document it, favorite it, etc etc. and please no... suddenly now thrown into an HTML box???

My neck is hurting and hopefully it is from stress.... fromfiguring out this whole new laptop blogging adventure....I cannot allow myself to even think I may be coming down with a miserable cold. it denying one kind of reality and hoping for another?

Thursday, October 20, 2011

New Adventures

Notice my ears PERK UP every time I hear about a diet tip.  It came to me just the other day I have been dieting for over 50 years.  I think it began with what was called Metrecal cookies....also a wine and hard boiled egg diet (yes a glass a wine with a hard boiled egg for breakfast)....I have never weighed over 120 pounds on this 5'3 frame and hang out at about 115 pounds yet constantly dieting experimenting with ways to be healthy and get down to 110. 

Need to have my green salad with sunflower seeds and a slice of Dave's bread (plain, no butter) for dinner with dessert of canned pumpkin with sugar free butterscothch pudding powder stirred in with a tablespoon of chopped almonds drowning in coconut milk.

Looking forward to my favorite show Project Runway.  Go Joshua!!!  I like flamboyant.