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Thursday, November 1, 2012

One Step In Front Of The Other



The sun sank, the rains came it is dark and I picture myself being the one in this photo that just keeps running.  An athlete in training mentality  I go through all the motions of getting to work on time, and getting to every ballet class with no excuses yet their is a blahness to it.  I know it is easy to blame everything on the weather and I do feel I am a product of my environment and am affected by the elements.  I had a productive day at work today, lots of fun with my colleagues all my loved ones including myself happy and healthy so what is wrong?

I know daily practice is needed to grow in all areas of my life and here I am writing until inspiration comes.  What if this was my livelihood?  Now I know what writers block feels like and how scary that would be if I was an author.  There must be some way to overcome?

  So here I am Friday night 9pm.... Breathing.....breathing.....breathing.....watching  Kobe play Laker ball and how he wills himself to win a game where all his team is as sluggish as I am.  Sometimes watching others excel at what they do can be inspiring.  What is going on with me?    Just blah.  Mind feels blank for about a week now.  I will just have to roll with it.  The more I try to snap out of it or fight it or pretend it is not happening is not productive.
 
For now I will fix a cup of hot cocoa, set my alarm for  ballet class in the morning...just one step at a time...at a time...



8 comments:

  1. Oh - I´ve been there too, so I might know what you are going through.
    Blanco. Not interested in doing anything, no words to write down.
    But, though it´s hard, I give myself the permission to just do nothing.
    Actually this is " filling the batteries " time.
    Hopefully your cup of chocolate helped, as this period, October-November is typically a time depression hits us. There are statistics, that eating chocolate increases about 40% amongst healthy people just now!
    I´d suggest you to go under blankets too : )!

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    1. Mette, Thank you for reminding me this is like running out of electricity. It really is quite a natural cycle like a bear going into hibernation. Do you find your animals do what comes naturally and humans let their mind dictate what is and is not to be???

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  2. Amazing and inspiring. I need to get off my you know what and move some more!
    xo
    Sharon

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    1. Sometimes it takes awhile to find what REALLY MOVES us but I think it is so worth it. I'm sure there is some exercise or sport that is calling your name...

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  3. Good morning dearest! Oh I am so glad you came to visit me; your comments were just kind and receptive and any writer appreciates that feedback!

    NOW ABOUT YOUR FEELINGS HERE.....I am a writer in training. This is very normal what you are feeling. But it is part of the process and this is what to do:

    our job as a writer is to make ourselves AVAILABLE. Even when it is quiet in our minds. In fact, that is the best time because writing is a sacred activity. It IS like running or ballet because it requires will and exercise. Our job is to sit in front of the computer, in front of a tablet of paper, or whatever writing setting we choose. BE THERE. THINK. SCRIBBLE. FREE WRITE. ANYTHING.....then let it come. I have read more than one source written by professionals, poet laureates and Pulitzer Prize winning authors that this is what to do. Ideas come to us be we just have to BE THERE, WAIT and be faithful to write down what comes. THEN the perfection comes after.

    I wish you well. It is a hard exercise, even tougher than dance because it involves different areas of the brain that require we think more than once, fine-tune what we are saying and then ultimately LET GO of it to share. Oh how wonderful it is!!! Anita

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    1. Anita, thank you. Yes yes yes, a writer in training and a sacred activity. That is beautiful. I have heard our brain is a muscle that needs to be exercised as all muscles of the body. Of course my training in ballet and yoga is to just show up on the mat or at the barre and go from there. You have reminded me that writing is the same showing up. And it feels so different because I agree it is harder than dance.

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  4. I think the advice Anita provided is spot on. We all are at that place at some time and eventually it does pass. I also think the more we try to force something the more it evades us. At times I think of tons of things to do in order to avoid sitting down to write so I just do those things for awhile but try to think hard about the writing chore at hand until I'm ready to get back at it.

    You have a wonderful way of expressing yourself in your writing so just have the confidence in yourself that you can and will succeed.

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    1. Hello Sanda, Silence is golden except when one has a blog and feels obligated to post about something and a day goes by and then a week and then begins the doubts about the whole thing. Thank you for your encouragement that I am moving forward even in the stillness.

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