Who You Idolize Is The Direction Your Headed

Childhood dream being a trapeze artist in The Greatest Show On Earth

What is the meaning of my life?  What were my passions growing up?  The Greatest Show On Earth is the one movie I watched over and over and just knew I had to find a way to join the circus.  My parents said.... NO circus people are different than you.

My favorite activity in grade school was recess.  The only thing I looked forward to was going outside to play daredevil on the monkey bars.  In High School my most hated activity was Physical Education in the gym doing calisthenics and my most fave was roller skating.

Marriage and family time found me signing up for Volleyball team in winter and Softball league in summer at City Parks and Rec.  College led me to dance.  Injury and unemployment brings me to NOW.  Walking the SF Hills every morning.

I hear women on YouTube wanting to find a life partner.  No thank you.  I just want to meet any one who wants to go to the park to play Frisbee and badminton while I figure out what else I was created to do for work to support myself. 

If you want to see a most fun and even more poignant documentary look for "Alive and Kicking".  It is filled with a million different life lessons in just 88 minutes.  You can Google the movie trailer to get the idea and if you get a chance to see the film you may feel like a little bit of magic dust sprinkled on you that you will carry with you wherever you go.

For Self Healing Start Here

Whoa Whoa Whoa...I am very late to this party

I believe my purpose in life is to teach.  I played the role of teacher as long as I can remember.  In third grade my parents set up a tent in my back yard so I could invite all of the neighbor children over and I was the teacher.  Too young to have a subject to teach the kids came because I gave out grape juice and graham crackers.  But only to those who behaved.  My mom told me the parents would call  to say their child would not be coming back because...I was too bossy!!!

My favorite cousin also loved to play school so every time we got together we had imaginary students we spent hours teaching.  I never wanted to be a traditional teacher so did not go down that path.  When pursuing my degree in college I did find myself designing and implementing Hatha Yoga classes for adults and teaching Creative Dance for Children and would have continued if I could have figured out a way to support myself doing it.  Had to move on.

For the past 25 years I have been happy as a student of classical ballet.  My last class was in April of 2016 because of injury.   I found myself having to be my own teacher. . I used Ester Gokhale's book and healed in 8 months ready to go back to the barre.  Now comes the ultimate challenge.   My brand new lifestyle in the land of the unemployment. Having to find work to support myself suddenly those  3 little words are meaningful.   I want to post it everywhere.  Maybe I will even wear it?  No......too far

Being my own teacher is much harder than teaching others.  Learning to be The Warrior archetype to: get tough...be decisive... keep the personal out of it... a brand new concept for me.  I have always made all  decisions based on how I "feel" about the situation.  A new attitude is needed now.

I am learning all of life is Impersonal.  We just make it personal Caroline Myss says.  Over the years through counseling and personal studies I know how to catch myself when telling stories in my mind that make me feel hurt and I am able to say.....STOP IT!!!! 

 What is new is advice to myself  to get out of the way and make objective choices.  In order to make a change for Self Healing Meir Schneider writes.....Whatever you were doing...do the opposite.  START THERE!!!!  It sounds simplistic but it is what I did to heal my hip injury.   No matter if it is an injury or illness or any kind of change I will choose to observe every feeling... thought,... and action... from an IMPERSONAL perspective..not judging it as good...or bad....and move forward from there.  JUST DO IT.   Ms. Bossy!!!

Stay tuned...

Where Is My Inspiration

My daughter, myself

My daughter is my number one INSPIRATION!!!  Every night she will text me a workout she is doing.  "Just ran the hill now doing the P90X ab ripper".  But she also remembers in High School when she would make fun of me every morning when she would hear me working out to the Jane Fonda cassette tape.  She even remembers some of the songs. 

It is so icy and cold here.  Just when I think I have established my new AITP with a one hour walk up the San Francisco Hills in my neighbor hood......oh nooooooo....its too windy and cold for me.  I do my 15 minute HasFit weights routine and yoga balance poses and call it DONE.

I do not lack for inspiration though.  This woman walks by my apartment EVERY MORNING AND EVERY NIGHT for the past ten years at least.  Once I had a chance to tell her how much I admired her consistency.

"I don't think of it that way" she said  "I just love it"

I said, "but you walk in wind, rain, hail, ice, and snow, weather I don't even like to drive"

"I just love all the elements" she said as she walked away.

She has no idea she is my role model.

Emailing my resume this week to various health and wellness clinics felt less like job hunting and more like fishing.  I never liked to fish but I did love being with my Dad.  He taught me fishing requires patience.  I had none.  He never knew he was my role model in the Art of Waiting.

Okay...Game Plan for next week.....

*  Pay attention to who and what I admire because that is where I am being led

*  Walk the SF Hills everyday

*  Keep fishing for work

*  Ask myself......"ARE YOU LISTENING?

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