Watching the Miss America contest, why? It boggles my mind the choices I make. My commitment to health and fitness has boomeranged on me so I don't know who I am right now. With every intention to focus this year on ballet training taking six classes a week I have only made it to 2 classes. Not sure what is going on with me physically with watery eyes and overall feeling of fatigue the most I have been able to do is get to work and some chores. Just the thought of ballet class was overwhelming my body/mind/spirit. What is wrong with my commitment making? If I just take one day at a time I tend to do better than making proclamations.
I have one visual of myself going to class faithfully, relentlessly, advancing or at least making some improvements in my exercise of choice. But the actual me is lying on the floor, head down, wondering if I am sick, coming down with the flu, have allergies, or just my body fighting off all the germs that have attacked me from my co-workers?
Not being in class every evening gives me too much time to question if I even want balance in my life because all I want to do is ballet classes non stop. I also think about how much I want to keep learning how to live in the present moment, and how bored I am with my hair. I want to practice writing as well and one blog I like is The Writing Life Too. The most recent post has the best definition of pursuing balance in life activities. "For me it means that whatever I'm doing I'm not fretting that I should be doing something else. So that I can be present in the moment."
I cannot rely on what worked for me in the past. Teaching myself to be in the present moment and make my choices from that place takes vigilance because I am such a creature of habit and expect my body to perform a certain way. My confidence gets shaken when faced with what feels like weakness. It is so much easier to think about my hair. On Miss America it was stated "a woman's hair holds her identity". No wonder I'm wanting to change my hairstyle.
Am I the lone ranger when it comes to making a commitment to one thing and have it feel like it turns into something else entirely???
Ahhhh.... a wonderful idea and reminder of something very important for us. To keep our bodies fit so that our spirits have a healthy place to travel this journey of life where time is invented to remind us that we are travelers! But you are right; there is no such thing as time for our real beings of the spirit, just here.
ReplyDeleteOh dearest, thank you for coming to visit and I so enjoy our mutual love and experience in the art of dance! Anita