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Wednesday, December 4, 2013

WWWWWHHHHHHAAATTTT!!!!

This is too crazy.  I am remembering how to post a blog on this cold December 2013 at 9:30PM.  No idea what settings mean what and bummer.  No one taught me how to post or make my blog I did it all myself about a year ago and now not posting for about 6 months it feels like I have never done this before.

 It is slowly coming back to me but I get it.  I need to either put some time and effort into blogging or lose the ability to do it at all.  Well it all makes sense.  Since I have not been able to put time and effort into ballet class in the past month I am feeling the need to put effort into something creative and this is as close as I can get.  

Having to get a new router and install myself and then have everything look different including YouTube and Firefox page and Microsoft 2010 screen I cannot get rid of I need help.  This is not all the way back to where I started blogging saying I had no idea what I was doing so I do have some muscle memory for this just like in ballet when I return it feels like starting over but the muscles respond slowly.  Barbarina......are you going to keep blogging or WWWWWHHHHAAAATTTT???

I am too private a person to make this my new journal.  A journal is supposed to be free flowing writing my feelings as they come and at least that would keep me in the training mode of writing each day and I know that is what it takes is effort just to show up and write.  But for me that means showing up to make improvements and study and learn and do my best and a journal is not an art form it is just putting words down on paper.  Blogging needs to mean something....or does it.  What if my blog is just random writings each evening about whatever comes to me and leave it at that.  No one will read it and it will be a different kind of blog.  I am all about being different even if it is wrong so yes, I will just go for it.  Every night just post my random thoughts for the day and of course a photo that relates to my thoughts and see where this path takes me.  My journey in writing freestyle. 

Tonight is the first night of my freestyle blogging and maybe I will be brave enough not to censor my thoughts.  It is now 10PM and cold outside but clear enough to see the lights of the Christmas tree lit on the roof of Johns Landing.  The night feels calm.  Normal traffic.  Staring out my picture window is a blessing.  Life is always moving.  People are always going somewhere.  Even me when it does not feel like it.  I have been struggling with letting go of my passion to study ballet because of an injury that may or may not heal.  It has taken me a week of being aware that my life is more than one passion and I am grateful number one. 

How can I get to grateful when this injury is keeping me from my passion?  Wow!!  There is so much more for me to discover.  Goodnight.

1 comment:

  1. Welcome back. Have missed you. So sorry for your injury. It's tough. This quote from the movie, The Natural," could be inspiration to you: "I believe we have two lives. The lives we learn with and the life we live with after that." Regarding your blogging, I say go with your idea and let it flow. Blogging is about what WE want it to be. Not to please others. It could prove very therapeutic to simply let your thoughts flow and take it wherever it goes. Please keep posting, dear!

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