What if I give up on everything my heart is not in? Ballet class is a discipline and you just show up. No excuses. The training is strict and the mind needs to be sharp. When I cannot go to class my mind turns to mush. I want to keep some kind of activity going and have no idea what to do.
I am cold. Physically and mentally so I need to stop writing nonsense. There is nothing to report. All is blank. I know how much pain people are suffering and do not see how they get the courage to go through it. I don't know anything. Living in that place of not knowing feels deadening but also liberating.
I'm cold, hungry and tired. Tonight with no exercise feels like I am losing a battle to stay healthy. What am I going to do about it? Eat a good dinner and smile, and just keep at it. Stay focused on what is in front of me even when I feel like I am losing ground. Can I let go of all goals and live my life from a place of not knowing anything? Not having a goal feels so scary. How can I live without one?
Twenty five years of dance and I may be moving on.....or not. I don't know.
I am cold. Physically and mentally so I need to stop writing nonsense. There is nothing to report. All is blank. I know how much pain people are suffering and do not see how they get the courage to go through it. I don't know anything. Living in that place of not knowing feels deadening but also liberating.
I'm cold, hungry and tired. Tonight with no exercise feels like I am losing a battle to stay healthy. What am I going to do about it? Eat a good dinner and smile, and just keep at it. Stay focused on what is in front of me even when I feel like I am losing ground. Can I let go of all goals and live my life from a place of not knowing anything? Not having a goal feels so scary. How can I live without one?
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