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Thursday, December 8, 2011

Why Does Learning Take So Long?

A day in the style today was black Danskin sneakers, black knit tights, black Guess skinny jeans, white Old Navy thermal, and a Black Puffy jacket with a hood that has faux fur trim from Ross.  My intention was to LEARN how to use my camera and compose a picture for this blog.  I managed to do everything but address that camera.

Why is it when wanting to learn something new I procrastinate so much?  What is it fear?  Fear of the unknown and fear of failure and fear of the pictures not turning out and fear of not having enough patience to see it through and fear I will throw up my hands and say, "done" like I have with what feels like a million other projects?  I know what it is.  I already want to know how to do it.  I do not want to have to go through all the baby steps to learn and the falling down and needing to get back up again feels exhausting before I even begin.  And I LOVE TO DANCE.  Why should I have this much of a struggle?

Because it is something new I am excited about it and then lose my way.  Like in a relationship.  When you meet someone new and can't wait to go out and then right before the date it feels like all wrong.  That you know he is not going to be as much fun as you want him to be etc etc etc.

Staring out my window at 5pm the moon is out and today I had a long walk along the river in the outfit of choice today fit my intention ....(photographers wear black)....I wonder if I could meet a guy who knows how to use a camera and a tripod and we could go on a date and have a super fun time....but waiting for that to happen would take forever!!!

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