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Wednesday, May 23, 2012

What Happens Naturally

I forget how my nerves kick in when I prepare to leave my natural way of doing things.  My routine of work, eating patterns, ballet class,  relaxation, I feel a sense of control even while knowing there is no such thing.  This time my nerves kicked in at least a week in advance of leaving on vacation.  Tonight everything is in order for my morning trip to the airport with my mantra  to relax, smile and let be.    A change of routine is natural.

"We read hoping to find we are not alone".  I think that was a line from the movie "Ordinary People".  When I came across one of my favorite authors Krishnamurti I felt a kindred spirit.
 He wanted his writings to be like two people sitting in the park on a lovely day talking about life and discussing whether if it is possible to live our daily life without a single problem?  Not to formulate an answer or form an opinion but to appreciate the question.   His narrative is about questioning everything.

My question is do all of life changes happen naturally or do we have a hand in it or do we just think we have?  Or both?  When I moved into this apartment I told myself it would only be a stop over on my way to someplace else.  I had no plan and no idea where I would be going. 
This is the unbelievable view from my living room when I took the apartment.  Yes it felt like I could reach out and touch Mt. Hood and I wanted to have this vision in my life for at least awhile on my journey.

Many years later I am still here.  It is a place that feels special made for me.  One block away from the Willamette River is a huge park that feels like my own private space on many days.  I love communing with the trees, eagles, herons, squirrels, goslings. and all of nature where I feel at home.  Change is all around me as well as within... some noticeable and some not.  One of the most evident is the landscape.  After all these years this is the view I have now.
I can no longer see Mt. Hood for the trees from my window but I know it is there.  This natural evolution reminds me each day when things  change I do not have to have an answer or an opinion about it and live in that space.


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