What Is Going On

Outside my apartment window tonight

It is almost time to run out the door to ballet class and all I want to do is drink some chocolate wine.  Pouring rain, gray, cold, dreary, I do not want to go out into that mess.  As much as I need exercise and need ballet class to keep me from going brain dead I let my mind keep telling me I want to just stay home tonight in front of the fireplace I don't have.   But I know I will feel better after class so away I go.........

Back home.  Bath and a chicken thigh, pork rinds, and plain Fage yogurt with chopped almonds, vanilla flavoring, and 2 tsp. sugar.   I am constantly trying to eat less and yet I feel like I gain weight anyway.  I cannot imagine how many million of pounds I would weigh if I ate what I liked. 

Ballet class felt good.  My overall muscles feel well tuned.  I am aware my mind gets a workout as well and my ego works hard to judge my every move as not good enough and my silhouette in the floor to ceiling mirrors is never thin enough to make the lines I want.  Oh the vanity keeps on coming.  At least it gives me the energy to keep challenging myself and go beyond the weather.